One of the upsides to living in Hawaii is the ability to raise any farm animal you please, due to the pretty much constant tropical climate. I raise chickens. More specifically, hens. They live in a big, homemade covered coop in my our backyard through rain, wind, and sun. Here’s some of the things I’ve learned from raising chickens:
*Commit to your chickens. Although chickens aren’t conventional pets, they still need basic care. And unless you want the lingering smell of chicken poop 24/7, keeping them outside the house is the best option. Commitment means getting up at 5 AM and walking out back of the house with a flashlight to replenish the food and water supply. But heck, even at that early morning hour the chickens are still sleeping.
*Have a laugh. Chickens will never be the equivalent to cute puppy dogs, my family can find humorous little things here and there, which makes raising chickens just that much more worth it. After raising our pets from chicks to adults for about 8 months, we noticed each chicken would lay one egg per day, at around 10 AM. When they first started laying eggs, we didn’t receive four everyday. After they matured, we regularly received four eggs a day, and the chickens did well in living up to our standards. During winter, we had a week-long cold front, resulting in sporadic egg laying patterns. My dad became irritated with the chickens, and jokingly threatened to post a picture of Colonel Sanders inside the coop to keep the chickens in line. The humor continues in even their names, born out of amusement one afternoon.
*Enjoy the ‘eggs’ of your labor. While I don’t teach chickens to roll over, speak, or fetch- although excellent beggars on their own- they do come with their own set of rewards. Chickens are low maintenance animals, they don’t need clothes, haircuts, or baths. You don’t have to potty train them or take them out on walks. Oh yeah, and they lay eggs too, yum!
What I’ve learned from them carries on to my everyday life. Something as easy as raising chickens has left me to value commitment and simple humor in many situations. In doing so, I can enjoy the outcomes of hard work and appreciate the positive.
Why hello there KORIE LUM LUM!!! >:D
ReplyDeleteOOOOHHHHH!! Great job on your essay!! I like how the experiences you have with your chickens teach you things that should be valued in life. Good job! :D
You have a typo in your first paragraph. It's the "my our backyard" part, but that's an easy fix. Hmmmmmm........there's really nothing to fix in your essay.
You can do this, but this is just a suggestion: It might be a little more interesting if you actually talked briefly about one significant experience you had with your chickens. Perhaps a day when you learned something from them. Or that humorous day you had with them. It's up to you. :)
Overall, Great job!! I should call you Chicken Lady from now on. Haha just joking!! Good luck on your revision!
*it's a little late don't you think??? sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh :P
Hey Korie! Great essay! :P
ReplyDeleteI really like how you organized your essay and it the end, it portrayed your message really clearly.
"..coop in my our backyard.." is one thing that can be fixed..
"..resulting in sporadic egg laying patterns…" The word sporadic pops out at me in this sentence, the sentence doesn't exactly explain what the word means.. it confuses the reader.. maybe its just me ><
I also agree that you should describe an experience like something humorous. "show not tell"
Also, maybe you can say what their names are? It'd make your point about their names being an amusement stronger.
Maybe for each of your point of the things you've learned, you can start of the paragraph like First, next.. or one.. two.. or something to create a smooth flow from one paragraph to another.
Other than those, I don't have much to say. It's a really good essay.
I love your title btw, :P
-Rebekah