Verb: melting ice, biting into the shaved ice, holding the smooth cone, scooping up ice with the wooden spoon, Sun's light bouncing off of the colored flavors
Sensory Details:
Smell: artificial cherry, vanilla, (and the green flavor), crisp clean air
Sight: white specks of ice, the Sun's light bouncing off blue, red, and green colors
Sound: slurp of the melting syurp, crunch of bigger bits of ice between your teeth
Taste: sugary, sweet, coldness of the ice contrasting the warmth of your mouth
Feel: chilly, sticky syrup, holding the cool feel of the smooth cone
Hi Korie,
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the ice cream and mochi balls ;>
Nice job of generating vivid, specific details. Next, try putting them together into a smoothly flowing, icy, paragraph :)
Assessment score: 3/4
mrs s